Polluting the Body: What to Tell Your Teen About Contraception

Contraception Advice for Big Kids

While I was waiting for my 13-year-old son who was getting a haircut, I started flipping through a women’s magazine and was drawn to a slick, double-page ad for an implant contraceptive. A beautiful young woman with a radiant smile beamed out from the page with all her potential life plans laid out attractively: “get a job,” “find my own place,” “fall in love,” “save up,” “take a trip,” “finish school" (interestingly, ”get married" was not among the desired options).

The message, of course, is that women’s life goals and dreams can only be achieved by using a contraceptive device. Instead of swallowing that lie, we should ask this question: “What’s so wrong with women’s bodies, anyway?”

If it Ain’t Broken . . .

Today’s teens have been born and bred to have environmental and “green” sensibilities, wanting to embrace foods, products, and lifestyles that are seen as natural and healthy. There is nothing inherently wrong with this mindset, and it can even help teens understand why contraception is a literal pollution to our healthy bodies, a distortion of God’s plan, and an affront to women’s dignity.

Contraception rests on the presumption that there is something wrong or incomplete about a woman’s body. If you object to my premise, please note whose burden is the “responsibility” of contraception. The woman or not-fully-grown girl is the one expected to put powerful steroids (the Pill) into her body, have hormonal implants inserted under her skin, or have “pediatrician-approved” IUDs—plastic and metal foreign objects—forcibly inserted into her uterus. All in order to become a sterile sexual object for men.

The picture of glorious “health” projected by the slick ad I viewed in the magazine can only be believed if you ignore the long list of “common side effects,” including (but not limited to):

• Mood swings/nervousness/depressed mood

• Weight gain

• Headache

• Acne

• Nausea/stomach pain

• Vaginitis (inflammation of the vagina) and breast pain

Add to that the “risks” that the girl or woman must take on, including (but not limited to):

• Ectopic pregnancy

• Ovarian cysts

• Possibly fatal blood clots resulting in stroke/heart attack/DVT/embolism/blindness

• Migration of implant to a blood vessel in lung

• High blood pressure

• Liver tumors

• Breast cancer

But hey, those risks must be worth it, because without these implants and chemicals, how could a woman ever travel or get her own place? I’m being sarcastic of course, but that’s the lie our daughters are being sold.

Trent shared with me a heart-breaking story of a co-worker who used an implant contraceptive and developed Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID). She mournfully told him, “I didn’t want a baby, but now I’m on permanent birth control”—because the PID rendered her infertile.

Thankfully, a well-formed Catholic teen will look at this evidence and conclude that there is something wrong with this twisted view of women’s bodies, not with God’s design. The physical dangers of contraception (not to mention the spiritual danger!) should also give pause to any parent who thinks a daughter should be on birth control “just in case.”

Not much could be more shaming and degrading to a teen girl than to make her think there is something wrong with the way she is made, and that her “full potential” cannot be achieved unless her female body mimics a man’s inability to get pregnant. Beware of any message that tells our daughters it’s somehow “unfair” or unfortunate that they were created female.

Is NFP a Form of Contraception?

When you teach your teen that contraception is immoral but Natural Family Planning is licit, he may ask, “But Mom, isn’t NFP just another form of contraception? I mean, in both cases you’re trying not to have a baby.” In response, tell your teen that we must distinguish between the means and the ends. Just because our intended end is morally allowed (e.g., postponing a pregnancy), it does not follow that any old means we use to get there is automatically moral, too.

For example, imagine two women, Mary and Sarah, both of whom want to lose weight. Mary chooses to eat a healthy diet, limit portions, and occasionally fast, whereas Sarah just throws up her food after eating. Even though they have the same goal or end (losing weight), Sarah’s way of achieving that goal is disordered because it contradicts the fundamental purpose of eating.

Just as bulimia contradicts the body's design by accepting the pleasure of eating while willfully thwarting its life-giving purpose; contraception contradicts the body's design by accepting the pleasure of sex while willfully thwarting its life-giving purpose. By contrast, sacrificing sex to avoid a pregnancy (like sacrificing eating to avoid calories) is not thwarting or disordering the nature of the sex act, since there is no act at all. We should teach our teens the truth that contraception is essentially “sexual bulimia.”

Another popular analogy used to explain NFP compares the marital act to the act of sending a wedding invitation. When a couple has sex during the fertile period, that’s like sending a wedding invitation to a relative who is able to attend the wedding. Each will probably result in a wonderful person “showing up” a few months later. When a couple has sex during the infertile period, that’s like sending a wedding invitation to a relative who is probably not able to attend the wedding. The person probably won’t “show up,” but if he or she does, it’s still a joyful occurrence.

By contrast, when a couple uses contraception, that’s like sending a “dis-invitation,” or a letter that says, “Please don’t come to our wedding; you’re not wanted here!” Using contraception sends the message to your future child (as well as to God, who is responsible for every blessing of pregnancy),“We want sexual pleasure at this specific time, so you’d better not show up and ruin it!”

But children don’t ruin sexual pleasure; they are its fulfillment! We should never engage in the “baby-making act” while simultaneously sending the message that any baby we make—a child gifted by God—is unwanted. The Lord asks us to live with integrity, in our bodies as well as our souls.

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