She Walked in Uncertain and Afraid, She Walked Out a Disciple

Throughout my priestly ministry, I have always encouraged people to read the Bible. At a time when God, his revelation, and sacred teachings are distorted and redefined, it is a safe first practice to lead people to the Bible. By reading it, a person encounters a living word. He sees and hears God on his own terms, from his own deeds and words. Although more teaching will be needed, this initial practice of reading the Bible can dispel false images, correct wayward views, and challenge distorted definitions and flawed understandings of divine realities.

When I encourage people to read the Bible, I direct them to one of the four Gospel books, in which we come face to face with Jesus Christ, the Word made flesh and our anointed Savior. In the Gospels, counterfeit versions of the Christ are exposed and hung out to dry. The darkness of deception is scattered, and shadows are filled with light. We see Jesus Christ for who he is—not what our fallen hearts or our tainted culture want him to be. We hear firsthand the summons to follow him and be his disciples. There is no room for compromise or accommodation. The Lord Jesus speaks, and we are invited to listen. He summons, and we are called to follow.

These encouragements to read the Bible are often ignored, but there also graced moments when people respond. They pick up their Bibles, dust them off, and begin reading one of the Gospel books.

On one such occasion, an older woman accepted the invitation and decided to read one of the Gospels. It convicted her so profoundly that she read the other three. After completing all four, she reached out and asked to meet with me. I was happy to comply and was eager to hear what the Holy Spirit was doing in her heart.

As we met, I sensed she was nervous. In an attempt to make her comfortable, I made some small talk. After a few passing questions, the older woman looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Okay, let’s get to it!”

“I agree,” I responded. “How did the reading of the Gospel books go? Were you able to see the Lord Jesus for who he is?”

“Father,” the woman replied, “I’m in my seventies. I’ve been Catholic my whole life. I went through Catholic schools. I raised my children Catholic. And . . . well, it was very unsettling to read the Gospel books. I’m not sure why you want us to do that.”

“Well, as Christians we should know as much as we can about the Lord Jesus. By reading the Bible, especially the Gospels, we can know more about it. Since the Bible is a living word, the Lord Jesus is actually present to us when we read the Bible. He is accompanying us, loving us, and teaching us. That’s why I encourage us to read the Bible. Does that make sense?”

“Father,” she replied, I just didn’t realize everything he said, or the things he wants us to do. There were times when Jesus just seemed rude. He was pushy. I’m sure I heard all of this before, but is he for real?” And then looking at a list she composed, the woman continued, “Go the extra mile when someone already forces you to go one, forgive seventy-seven times, carry a cross, turn the other cheek when someone hits you? . . . and there’s more? Is Jesus serious?!”

“Yes, the Lord Jesus is dead serious. Did you notice that he is describing his own life? He is paraphrasing his life while calling us to live the same way. This is what he means when he summons us to follow him. The Lord Jesus is living a very different, counter-cultural way of life for his time, as well as for our own. Our fallenness as human beings is the same in every age. Our self-focus and selfishness are the same in every age. Cultures change, technologies are developed, times are different, but our fallen nature remains the same. But the Lord Jesus shows us a new and different way. He breaks the cycles of fallenness and sin and offers us the path of love and eternal life. This is the way we are called to follow as Christians. This is the way we accept when we choose to follow the Lord Jesus: to be his disciple.”

Throughout my comments, the woman was visibly uneasy. As she squirmed in her seat, she was ready to respond. “Well, that’s what bothers me the most. I’m reading about Jesus, and what he asked of the people when he was alive. And, honestly, Father, I’m scared because if I were alive when Jesus was preaching all this stuff, I don’t think I would have followed him.”

“Well, thanks be to God! You are realizing the real demands of what it means to be a disciple of the Lord Jesus! And the Lord doesn’t just preach those things for people 2,000 years ago. He continues to preach his way to us today. And you are being very transparent with your answer to his call. This is good news! If we’re all honest, there are times in which we all struggle with one or some of the commands of the Lord Jesus, but it is precisely our openness that allows his grace to work in us and to do in us what we didn’t think possible.

“The Holy Spirit can transform doubters, weaklings, and procrastinators,” I continued, “but he cannot transform deceivers. The Holy Spirit can work with honesty, even honest doubts and fears, but he cannot work with half-truths, adulterated truth, or raw lies. The Holy Spirit cannot work with liars, but he can always work with repentant sinners. So, don’t be afraid of your integrity. It will be the means by which God blesses and works through you.”

“Oh, Father, thank you. This is very encouraging. I thought I was a goner. But I’m still not sure about some of the things the Lord is asking of me.”

“We’re all works in progress. The fact that you know what discipleship means and that you want to live up to its calling is a good start. Keep praying for the graces of conversion and keep doing all that the Lord asks of you as best you can.”

The woman had walked into my office with uncertainty and fear. She now left my office with faith and a conviction to follow the Lord Jesus. She left my office a disciple.

Are you ready to become a disciple?

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